frustration

Have you just ever been so frustrated with something that it becomes overwhelming.  There are just certain things in life that it seems like no matter how hard you try, how much energy you put into it, or how much time you spend on it, you still just can’t seem to accomplish it.  I have this one class that I am so frustrated with.  I don’t think that I would be so frustrated if I didn’t have to pass it this semester in order to graduate in August.  I wouldn’t be so focused on graduating in August if I hadn’t already been in school since 2006 (off and on).  It wouldn’t have taken me 6 going on 7 years to graduate with an undergrad degree if I didn’t spend my first few years, bottle up.  I wouldn’t have spend my first few years of college drunk, if well…..I could put a lot of things here.  But, it took me four years of college to finally decide taking two or three classes a semester wasn’t going to cut it.  When I decided this around the same time I found the rest of my life falling together.  I got out of a bad relationship and into a good one.  My friends were my friends again.  I said my sorry, and paid my dues.  Of course life everything in life that lasted about 6 months and when I found out I was pregnant that good relationship turned into a non-exsistant one.  That point in time that is when I truly found myself.  I was lost before that.  Wondering around wondering what my actually purpose was in life.  I went to school that fall and spring full-time while, working 40 hours a week at a group home (where I am still at), and buying a brand new car, and moving into my own apartment. All of this is very minor compared to the most important thing I have ever done, and that is become a mother.  I guess being frustrated with a class now is not really that important because I get to be someones whole world every single day.  I get to wake up and go to sleep with my little boy and his big ole smile on his face.  I guess I am lucky, and I shouldn’t focus on a little bad in my day.  I guess writing this I talked myself out of my own sour mood…..


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