If you know me, you know one of my biggest fears is living a completely normal, boring life. I can’t even fathom spending the rest of my life sitting behind someone else’s desk, making money for someone else, while I come home to my normal boring dull life. I have always had this deep desire to change the world. Somehow, someway. To be something spectacular. To put the pen to the paper and make a difference.
The ultimate death of me would be to be so normal it hurts. It’s just something I can’t imagine. I want something so much more than this. I can’t even comprehend spending my days as an obedient housewife. O lord have mercy just thinking about it makes me quiver. It’s just not me. If that’s you that’s fine. That’s okay. But, for me, never ever ever NEVER!
I am finding my way through this new era where women can be what they want, be as independent as they want, while also having the family that they want. I have to say I completely 100% enjoy being a single mother. I enjoy every second of it. I love our little family that we have. But, people feel this need to say things like, “O someday you will find someone,” or “when the time is right…” I don’t really understand why people think that you HAVE to be with someone. I am happy. Actually I am a hell of a lot happier than most of the people I know. You know what my secret is? I realized I can be completely 100% happy being ME!
Now of course it hasn’t always been this way. I have been through some pretty awful and I mean bottom of the barrel, horrible, can’t even imagine I actually put up with that, relationships. But, I knew throughout them I wasn’t happy and when I became single, I realized I was so much happier.
My biggest problem was that I settled. I settled for the, o he isn’t that bad, o he will change, o he won’t do that again. I settled. I allowed myself to trick myself into thinking that everything would be okay when I knew it wouldn’t be.
Through several years of self-evaluation along with good days and bad, I have realized, I am happy, pretty damn happy. I never will be in that situation again. I will never lower my standards.
Girls if he isn’t good enough today, he isn’t going to be good enough tomorrow. The faster you leave him, and get the hell out, the faster you will have time to recuperate and have your most selfish desire to be free as you possibly can.
We as humans need our space. WE need time to be alone and to find ourselves. You can never do that when you are stuck in bad relationships, this goes for friendships also.
I see so many people go through all these relationships constantly and wonder why they aren’t finding the “one.” Well who the hell knows where the “one” is but, I’ll tell you he isn’t going to be found when you haven’t given yourself time to heal from all the broken pieces of your past.
Let go. Be free. Be happy. Regain your old strength. Create new ways. Life will find you. Love will find you, and sometimes it’s already surrounded you, you are just too broken to see it.
Have a fabulous day Yall thanks for reading!