A few weeks ago I saw this beautiful cloud. I thought its just so majestic looking. As I watched it I thought about how beautiful life really is.
The past few years I have been tested. I have been put into situations, sometimes self-made and other times at the hands of others, that really challenge me.
You know what? I have it good. And, sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up in all the negative things and forget just how good life is.
I usually don’t do that but, I have my moments like everyone else where I just can’t seem to understand or comprehend a situation and it really challenges me.
Here lately I have felt led back to God. Not that I was ever astray. But, I felt led back in a simple way. I forgot what its like to just sit and talk to God in the Chapel. (We have this Chapel that is open 24/7 at our church.) I used to go in it almost every night for years.
I remember going there when I was 17 and my first boyfriend broke up with me. I remember sitting the pews just bawling not understanding what was happening or why. But, all I did know is that I belonged there in that moment in that place.
A few years later I found myself at a crossroads and I was going to the Chapel almost every night. But, this one night I remember sitting there at a critical turning point in my life, and there I was again in this same pew I had been a few years ago. When I thought my life was over with. Years later I was still there, and I was still okay.
A couple of years after that I sat in the same pew asking God for guidance during my pregnancy. I prayed so hard. I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed. I prayed for the other people in my life. I prayed for strength. I just prayed.
One spring when my son was about a year old tornado season had been really bad. There had been scares almost every night for weeks. I started getting messages and looking at the radar that night and I knew that this storm was going to be a big one. It wasn’t raining right then and there. The radar showed red hug lines coming this way within the next hour. At the time we lived in an apartment that was upstairs. It really freaked me out thinking about being in the upstairs apartment when nothing but red lines were coming toward us. The Chapel was just half a mile down the road and even though it was really late I knew I had to go there. I got us in the car and could hear in the distance the thunder roaring over the hills.
So there I was with my little one and my little yorkie dog in the Chapel. Within 15 or so minutes of us sitting at the same pew I always sat at I could hear the rain hitting down on the roof. The wind was howling, I was completely terrified. I just held my son (who slept the entire time) and prayed and prayed. That was exactly where I was supposed to be in that moment of time.
In the last two years or so I haven’t visited the Chapel very much. We still go to mass which is held in the church a few hundred few away. But, for some reason I hadn’t even really thought about the Chapel. I really don’t know why.
Then a few weeks ago I was one of the leaders for the Pre-K VBS class and we took the little ones into the Chapel. There I was again in this present moment sitting in the same pew I always sat in, surrounded by all these little ones who were so curious about this new place. I saw the Chapel the way I had seen it all those years ago in Catholic school. The way I saw it that time I cried at 17. The way I saw it in all those moments was so clear, I saw it as a place that I needed. I realized all of these pivotal moments in my life I had always ran to this place and God had always comforted me there.
And, in all of those small moments, where I didn’t know if I was going to be able to come out of them on top, that in every single situation, I made it through.
Every single time I feel like life has gotten to be too much, I make it.
And that, that is what makes life so beautiful. All those little moments will forever be apart of my story. They make these moments and my future moments beautiful.
I visited the Chapel this week. I sat and thought. I kneeled and prayed. It wasn’t an exciting visit as some of my others have been. But, it was exactly what I needed. It was exactly what so many of my visits for years had consisted of. I am content, and life is beautiful. But, I know that if I need to have a cry that is probably where I will end up.
And you know what….I will be okay, just like always.
I hope your having a beautiful day in your corner of the world!