And, just like that….

Hello there!

It has been a few days since my last post.  I have been BUSY!  I mean really really really REALLY busy.

Just like that YALL, my sweet little 4-year-old started Pre-K on Monday.  I was so nervous that I woke up every 30-45 the entire night before.  I don’t even know why, I wasn’t the one starting school.  I guess I was just nervous about leaving him somewhere without me.  I have never put him in daycare and the only people that ever watch him are family or close friends.  I have been fortunate that he is able to go hang out with his grandparents while I am at work.

The morning started off great because, if you know me you know I plan everything out and I had everything ready.  I woke up a little bit before him and cooked pancakes (his request),  apples, grapes, and cheese.  We got ready and set off to this new chapter (after of course I took plenty of pictures.)  We got there and when I was getting out the school supplies from my hefty recyclable bags out of the Jeep, he says looks around and says, “Mom, Will you hold my hand?”  It melted my heart.  (He didn’t have to know that I was going to snatch up his little hand the moment I got the bags on my shoulders and there was no way I was going to walk in that building without holding his hand.)

When we walked the hallway, of the same place I had my first day 22 years before, I felt a little bit more at ease.  It was one of those moments where you are not really even in your body, your just sort of in a daze-like state.  At his classroom door, I signed him in and gave the teacher the supply bags.  I hug and kissed him and told him I loved him, to have a good day and I would pick him up from school.  He walks into the classroom and turns around he has this look like, don’t leave me, and he says, “mom.”  I said, “I love you,” and the teachers tried to distract him as I left.  I realized halfway down the hallway I had forgotten a sheet I had to turn into the office.  I went back to his classroom and peeked around the corner to make sure he wouldn’t see him.  His teacher was helping him with his backpack and he was smiling.  I knew in that moment, yep he was going to be just fine.

And, then I made it all the way to the Jeep before I cried.  They were tears of sadness that he wasn’t so little anymore. They were tears of joy that he is somewhere that I loved for so many years and I know he will be happy there.  They were tears of a mom letting go of her little baby, after four and a half entirely too short years that had passed by. They were tears of happiness knowing that he is happy.

When I picked him up that afternoon his teacher said he was, “just wonderful.”

He really seems to enjoy school and I am so glad.  Not that I didn’t think that he would, I just was nervous.  I felt like a dog waiting for their owner all day.  I was waiting and waiting just to hear about his day.  I usually work on Mondays but, I didn’t so that I could pick him up from school.  It was a little strange to be home and not have a little voice following me around everywhere saying, “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mama, Mama, MAMAAAAAAAAA.”

It is quite strange the amount of things you can get done in an hour.

Just like that he is off into the world.  And, just like that we are on a new chapter of our story.


6 thoughts on “And, just like that….

  1. I remember well leaving my children on the first day of school. I know the first one was difficult but it didn’t get any easier with each child. When I dropped off my youngest of three on his first day of school I couldn’t speak. His teacher came and unclenched my hand from my son’s and lead him away from me. Before leaving she commented, “This must be your first.” All I could squeak out was, “That’s my baby.” Nothing more was said about it until twelve years later at this son’s graduation. We were dancing together and he says to me, “Do you remember my first day of school?” I nodded, instantly transported back to that moment. He continued, “I was terrified to leave you because you looked so sad!”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. We both laughed about the memory. I am extremely grateful that there are powers greater than ourselves that can guide our children when we are not at our best 🙂 Thank-you for sharing your experience!

    Liked by 2 people

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